ShiDai
by Kirity-Kitty
Summary: Sadness, pain, a death that won't come, or is it happiness, comfort and love. I'm not really sure, because it's sort of both. If you are curious then read on, but if you get confused easily then please save yourself the headache. It's not too confusing.


A/N: This story is not Kirity_Kitty's. Just thought I would put that out there. I do not claim this story for it is my friend Wolfy's, i just happen to be the one with an account and she's too lazy to make one, so we share this. Read, be confused and review.

-Kirity_Kitty

Shi-Dai

A/N: Shi means blood or death, Dai means compassion or love.

Life meant the world, and his life had been sustained by one person. The blonde idly stood near, but far enough away for it to hurt. He smiled every day, and wasn't afraid to cry. Actually, his emotions hooked the man to begin with. Nothing was the same now.

The small apartment became claustrophobic. And this sand colored couch was once again unappealing. Every shard of light was blinding, and it burned. The black curtains didn't cover enough. Food had been sitting around for months, stale and rotten. He sat on the couch, sickly thin and pale. A phone rang and rang and rang; he just blocked out the noise. After a few minutes passed, he saw the noise wasn't a phone, but the doorbell to the apartment.

A woman in her late thirties clicked against the wood floor and glanced about in disgust. The place looked horrid. She thought she raised him better. "Listen up you self-loathing bastard son of mine, 'cause I'm only saying this once." The man was unmoving, still. "You have a life, and an opportunity to be part of a big time corporation! You are a man, god damnit, and young at that! Live this gift of life, or end it. And if you choose neither, I will end your life for you." She clicked back out, slamming the door behind her, echoing in his head.

"She always was a bitch." The voice spoke from behind. He turned around to face a younger man in his late teens, typical black hair and hazel eyes.

"Nakao! I thought you were~"

"Quiet now, brother. One wrong move and I'm gone." Nakao embraced his wasted older sibling. The man began crying without knowing why and fell to his knees. "Aidan, why are you like this? Did he hurt you that bad? Who could do such a thing to my lovely brother?" Nakao pet Aidan with sweet sorrow and compassion. It pained him to see the otherwise carefree twenty some year old crying like a baby.

"Nakao, don't go. Don't go this time, please!"

"I'm sorry, but I am going to have to leave at some point. But I am here now, and I swear no more harm will come to you."

"Thank you, Nakao!" Aidan slowly fell to the floor, able to relax when tension left his body. He barely recognized his eyelids closing and the looming darkness waiting in anticipation beside him. Black hair faded into blonde on a wave of desperation. The once hazle eyes had undoubtedly become ice blue, the eyes of an innocent suicide killer suddenly turned human.

The man froze and wished to lose his ability to think, to fight. Humans lived complicated lives and satisfied their time with complex situations in which they mostly created. Emotions were too strong for a beast like him to handle. Certain concepts gave him headaches. It was all a game, but Aidan was too late to think of it as such when he met Alexu. The game was even more so his reality. Alexu was out and Aidan was left to cry over a mere game by himself.

"I never wanted to let go. She forced me." The sweet pleading voice only sounded unbelievable and fake. Those words could not be the truth.

"We swore on it," Aidan whispered in a quiet, rough voice. "It was an immortal, unbroken promise." His body seemed heavy, floating in the empty darkness above the ominous night.

"I gave you up so she wouldn't have your head! Listen to me and solve the little argument. Aidan," his name never sounded so beautiful. "This is proof the promise isn't broken." The foggy stained mirror cracked into a million sections and scattered when he looked into it, seeing a reflection of the demon dwelling within the "she" the voice spoke about. It had to be Lei, the woman who walked in to the apartment who should've kept her mouth shut about everything.

Aidan failed to open his eyes at the first sign of dimmed lights. The colors bounced around and he knew the walls were dull periwinkle. "Where am I," he spoke without opening his eyes. Someone sat beside him.

"Um, the hospital mister. You were floating down the river. Thought I'd never pull you outta the waves at the bottom there. Shoot, I damn near cried when you didn't react to anything. Thank the Goddess you woke up." She sounded about mid-teen and used a rather cute accent he couldn't place. "Fortunately, you checked out. No scratches or wounds. The doc just recommended sleep and general pain killers if there is any aches residing from the incident, delayed reactions and such."

"Ah, I see." Aidan carelessly stated in frustration. How the hell did he end up in the river? And surviving was one thing, but in perfect condition was a bit off for him. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen, though I could pass for thirteen or fourteen if need be. I've always been young for my age." The man gained the strength to lift his eyelids and get a look at the sixteen year old. She was thin with no visible muscle, tanned skin. Her golden brown hair hung in two braids, one over each shoulder. Her violet eyes shined with happiness and relief. They were slight, but she had a few freckles on her cheeks. What looked like a crescent moon shaped scar branded just below her left collarbone.

"Tell me, how did a girl like you manage to get me to the hospital, from the river?" A look of curiosity played over his face, hiding the laughter inside.

" I thought you'da figured it out….I may not look it, but I am strong; punched the lights out of nearly every boy in school, including the tough bully boys. I'd knock you out in one if I hadta." She had a lot of spirit.

"Ah, a fighter. Bet your friends depend on your guard." He sat up in bed, laying his head back against the wall.

"Hell yeah they do! I'm just 'bout the only one around for them. Some pay good money for me."

"I figured as much. So what's your name, miss bodyguard?" The girl stood up only to turn and sit beside him on the bed.

"Skyler Yukio and rescuing older men is justa side job. And don't count it happenin' again, mister."

"Hey missy, I am not old enough to be 'mister'. Aidan Shi-Dai. No more mister now." Skyler cracked a smile and they ended laughing together. He never thought a teenager, let alone a girl, would get along with him.

"Well, Shi-Dai, you're alright. Let's say we get outta here? It's been days since I ate some'n. Same for you."

"Days?" He swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Yup. I been here waitin' for three whole days, waitin' for you to wake up." Normally, that would seem creepy, however, her could only think positively by choosing to admire the girl's kindness and compassion. She was the type who would risk her life for a total stranger, even if it was in a different country.

An idea poked at his mind; prodded his thoughts. She was the second person to act like this towards him, a mysterious stranger. "Uh, I'm going on a whim here, but do you know a guy named Alexu, or Nakao? Or a woman who goes by Lei?"

"Hmm…" She placed her index finger on her right cheek and searched through her memories she had saved up. "I have no records for Alexu or Nakao…but I am almost positive I've hearda Lei. If my memory serves me right, that sluttish woman fired my Aunt 'cause she didn't enjoy gettin' drunk off her ass….There was also the excuse of 'she didn't look the part and has no social standing.' I mean, it's a friggin business! You ain't drinkin' to avoid bad rep, and there is no specific look or standing. That whacko had it down to skin type! Oh, I wanted to hunt her so bad." Her fist crushed into the palm of her other hand for visual effect.

"Yeah, sounds like her. And if we keep in touch, you'll have her begging for mercy." Standing was a pain. He stretched his entire body and turned to walk out of the boring room.

"Really? How do you know her? Assistant, disciple, or maybe it's a court issue connection?"

"I wish. That bitch of a whore is sadly, my mother, though I rarely acknowledge her as such."

"Your mother?!" Skyler exclaimed. "You kiddin' right?"

"Afraid not." After quickly signing the release papers, they exited the hospital and entered the world of dusk. "Just today she said to stop moping and work with her business or kill myself. Twice payback so far. Nakao or Alexu and she would be helpless."

"Say, who are the two?" Aidan glanced in her direction.

"Nakao's my younger step brother and Alexu's the most important person. He was the only one not afraid to open up to me and gain my trust. I've been told he's dead, but a dream says otherwise."

"I could tell. You were sweating and talking in your sleep. We all have certain struggles. If you have a picture and more details, I could search at school and in my own neighborhood. Whaddya say, Shi-Dai?" She playfully elbowed his side, smiling big and wide. Innocence in the young was priceless. It was a shame she pretended to be an innocent girl. Lei happened to be one thing that stole it away. Some of it anyway.

"I never talk in my sleep." Not that he knew of. Alexu never mentioned it.

"Okay, big guy." The rainy streets were empty of everything. A few cars passed every now and then, picking up speed and splashing in the puddles collecting in the lanes. Usually, the sidewalks were busy with people living the night life so the lack of company added an unsettling, eerie atmosphere and the full moon made it that much worse. Skyler's vision often darted side to side and behind them.

Aidan pretended not to notice her paranoia. He slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. "The food in my apartment is bad. Have any ideas?"

"Not really. Whaddya like?" She folded her hands together and held them in front of her chest.

"At this point, I'd eat anything edible." The girl nearly jumped for joy.

"Great, I have a place! Follow me." She hooked onto his hand, running around the corner and into the dark back streets. There was one lone little light, which faltered, dimming and brightening in rapid, slow concessions. There were doors on each side and stray animals hopping about while searching for food. "Don't underestimate these here hidden ways. It don't look like much, but those who don't turn back are dutifully rewarded."

"Rewarded, huh? How?" She just laughed, moving faster.

"You'll see." At the end of the path, it split into five separate paths, one on the right, the left, and three in front of them.

"They're all pitch black. Do you know where they lead to by any chance?"

"Of course I do! Go right or left and end up at the main road again, the middle one becomes a maze, and the other two lead to various back doors and such."

"Which do we go through?"

"I'll let you choose, but choose wisely. Go the wrong, and we end up pawns of meat." Her carefree attitude became frightening as her silly grin grew sillier and somewhat suspicious. He hated decisions, mostly because each time he made one, it was wrong and was so noted as a failure. "Sixty seconds or we'll plunge into the depths of mazeness." And peer pressure, even just pressure in general was the worst.

"I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" The man hung his head to ponder. Little information had been given, but the fact ruled out left, right, and straight ahead. Northeast, or northwest? They both equaled in darkness. Shadows danced around his still figure, playing tricks for entertainment. The howling wind seemed deafening. Rain fell harder and harder, pounding brick on brick. For a moment, the earth shook beneath his feet and suddenly took his breath.

Skyler disappeared and took the hidden paths with her. He failed to believe this was a wonderland complex or the like. A sharp pain under the skin rushed from toe to head and continued to linger. "Damn, I'm losing it. Pull it together Aidan, we are not crazy." As if talking out loud to himself in third person supported that theory.

"You're not crazy, that is correct." These stupid mysterious voices were starting to get on his nerves.

"Who is it this time? Playing the voice of my late father or something? Well, I'll tell you what buddy, I'm not falling for your tricks. Try, but this gig is old news to me. Nakao is dead, and so is Alexu. Stop bringing them back." Aidan gave up on deciphering reality or dream. Whatever it was, he was living it and had to opinionate the situation.

"Oh? Sorry to say you are wrong. Pretend is pretend, therefore making it not my kind of fun. The warning is already on the table. Lei lies, Nakao and Alexu visited in spirit for a point, and Skyler is a guide of sorts. She is real. I am a mere witness, nothing more."

"Right, I believe you," Aidan sarcastically teased. "If you don't mind, talking to a voice is off guard for me and I need to focus on the path to take." Grass whistled and rattling echoed from far away.

"Suit yourself. Don't blame me," it disappeared bringing back the realm he knew he lived in. Aidan, drained of every ounce of strength, dropped to his knees and splashing in the ever-growing puddle from endless rain.

Skyler wasn't by his side. She left no trace of her existence. The man was truly turning mad. Loneliness really destroyed a guy, leaving what sanity he had behind. "Why the hell…I did nothing wrong!" He lived a life following every law, never breaking a rule. Karma had no reason to bite back. He didn't sin, not that he was religious.

Nakao was murdered, Alexu was assassinated during a performance, and Skyler's vanishing act turned mysterious. At least there wasn't anyone else at risk. Lei was too bitchy and stubborn to die. And he obviously wasn't dying soon. The life of solace carried a life of sorrows. His body ached with piercing poison in every muscle, every limb. It spread throughout in one quick wave of light and he had no other choice but to surrender his consciousness. Death hadn't come. Secretive Grim Reaper rarely came for people like him. This was entertainment.

"-dan. Aidan!" Screaming. Opening his eyes was painful.

"What now?" Back and forth. How many times did he have to wake up before it was over?

"Thank god!" The voice was thick with tears. "You weren't moving and…your pulse was weak…I wasn't sure…and the hospital is far-" It was the familiar ring in the voice which brought Aidan back. His eyes snapped, automatically shooting him up in bed. He sat there, wide-eyed in disbelief. He spent so long trying to convince himself it was another trick, but he couldn't. This was the apartment he lived in-that they lived in.

"Alexu? Please tell me you're not a dream." Aidan's colorless eyes regained their yellow-green tint that shined in the night.

"Aidan, you worried me!" Alexu jumped onto the bed, arms wide open in preperation for hugging his lost lover.

"What do you mean? I thought you died from gunshot wounds!" The soft smell brought memories. If this was indeed reality, he would never let go again.

"I figured you'd forget." The younger boy sat facing the wounded man, cradling his cheek with a small, gentle hand. "You took the shots. Three of them were vital, but the doctor patched you up in time, luckily. God, and because of me you're…you're...it's all my fault!" His hands couldn't cover the shame or the tears. Guilt played it's hellish melody without mercy.

Aidan suddenly remembered and the frightening scenes repeated again and again. "I…losing you would kill me…I can't…I couldn't stand myself." He wrapped his loving arms around the boy and quietly swore he wouldn't ever leave his side.

"It was enough scaring for a lifetime! And I didn't know if it was normal to talk in your sleep, but I didn't care! I cuddled next to you when you started muttering. There was nothing bad so don't yell at me or get mad, okay?" His light skin was masked with meaningful tears and they took away his voice. He would barely speak a word if he tried.

"How could I be angry? It seems like years since I last saw you. No way am I going to get upset. Calm down a bit." He stroked the blonde's hair, caressing his smooth, silky skin. "Alexu," he seductively whispered.

"Yes?" Alexu's voice whispered softer than Aidan.

"Don't ever leave me."

"I'll never even dream of leaving you, I couldn't." Alexu placed his hands on the man's shoulders, eye to eye. "I love you too much," he choked out over endless cries.

"I love you." And a gentle kiss sealed their promises.

But this wasn't reality. Alexu would've smacked him silly before anything else. Noise of a full crowd filled his ears. The craze seeped through his guards and like so many others, made him defenseless. Sirens echoed into the cold, night sky; red lights flashed. This wasn't a stage accident. Alexu was given a suicidal mission performing in the outside venue. He wasn't killed. The young man did the killing and proceeded to stab himself.

Aidan lay silent on the stretcher, glancing over at the blonde. His blue eyes were cloudy, but the guilt still wore on his face. "I didn't hit anything vital. She told me to, though I lack the strength to murder. I'm sorry and I should've said something!"

"Alexu," he questioningly spoke.

"Y-yes?" Nerves were getting to him.

"By 'she', you don't mean-"

"Lei. She hated you not going into the business. She threatened to kill my entire family and made sure I could never perform again!"

"I'm not pressing charges." Emotions left his sense of justice blind, though what justice would this be if he put his lover in jail when he wasn't at fault? Over the communication radio they overheard a call of a sudden fire killing one woman, while injuring a girl. It was the boy next door who had called it in.

"Alexu, I suppose it is all over now."

He was in the hospital for a few days and Alexu had to attend therapy for a while until there were signs of himself again. Recovery stole away months of their time, too much time that couldn't be regained.

~*~

It was now the middle of a calm, sorrowful winter and the hellish snow fell hard piling in inches on the ground, in the streets. A blanket of thick, solid ice coated over every piece of land, leaving nothing bare.

The apartment had become a two-story, thirteen-room house located tens of miles away from civilization. An arrangement of colors decorated the house and filled it with a sweet aroma associated with the word "home". "Welcome back Aidan!" The blonde excitedly threw his arms around the dark-haired man. "Did you find them?" He childishly pecked Aidan's cheek with a blooming smile.

"Yes, but there was a case of amnesia." He stepped aside and lightly pushed forward the two teenagers, a girl and a boy. "Turns out Skyler Yukio exists. Nakao's memory is gone, but thankfully, he's comfortable around me." The boy's hair was ruffled, common brown. His light hazel eyes reflected confusion and guilt. Even at the moment, he was trying to remember something, anything at all.

Skyler's hair and eyes were more amber than in his "dream". She did have a certain charm. "Well then, Alexu Embers, at your service. Feel free to pick a bedroom upstairs. You must be tired this late at night, huh?" Still clinging to his lover, Alexu nodded in the direction of the winding staircase, smiling like always.

"Yup! I sure am beat! Thanks, Alexu," she nodded and then said, "Aidan." The girl beamed with knowledge, not telling that she remembered the events of the "dream".

"I appreciate your hospitality." Nakao lightly brushed his fair skinned hand against Aidan before whispering, "Goodnight," and running behind Skyler up the stairs.

"I'm proud of you." Alexu kicked the door closed and walked forward toward their bedroom.

"God Alexu, it's been more than a month since I've heard your beautiful voice and that is all you can say?" He pulled the blonde into the room, swiftly shutting the door. " I was searching for that long, _alone_!" The man pushed him onto the bed. "Your expressions, smell, touch, I missed _everything_!"

"You're back home with me. Don't worry now." His voice was soothing. Those soft hands Aidan missed comforted him, outlining the bold features of his figure.

"Alexu," he spoke in tears, burying his head in Alexu's chest. "I love you so much." He could be happy now that he was home.

"Alexu," the name repeated. "Alexu!" The boy opened his eyes to the view of a vast, expanding blue sky and slow moving marshmallow clouds. He could hear waves crashing back into the ocean. Warm sand pillowed his body. Above him, the face of an older boy with short, chestnut brown hair and brilliant yellow-green eyes. "Alexu! Don't scare me like that!" His eyes were tearing up.

"What happened? I had the weirdest dream."

"We were playing house in the sand castle we built with Nakao and that little girl, and you suddenly fell to the ground! And you weren't waking up!" A tear rolled down Aidan's cheek.

"I'm awake now. Don't worry. I was only dreaming." The boy sat up smiling, shaking his hair away from his face. _Ten years_, he thought. _That dream was ten years from now._

Aidan leaned forward, crushing his lips against Alexu's. When he pulled away, Alexu stared in surprise. "What was that for?"

"I missed you," Aidan whispered.

"I missed you, too," Alexu softly whispered in return, kissing the older boy once again.

A/N: Alright, if you read it this far, I am surprised, especially if you managed to not hate it or criticize it. I can't write and this is the first and only short story ever written by me. I'm just happy I actually ended it! **whips out sake** Time to party!

Thanks for reading (and reviewing **hinthint**) this future in a dream within a dream within a dream within a reality or whatever. I'll let you decide what was real and what was not. I think I've managed to fully confuse everyone. After reading this, you will become 1/8 more confused than you were before, or more…. j/k

Please read other stories and such linked to this pen name and don't forget to review! Thanks for reading! ^.^

~Wolfy-kun


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